Horrible Boss(es)

Things I’d Rather Do Than Ever Work For You Again :

Fly overseas without narcotics
Drink the last sip of a stranger’s beer
Stub my toe on the corner of my bed
Go to church
Share nachos with an Ebola patient
Not finish during sex
Eat mashed potatoes & gravy off the floor of the Cowboy’s Stadium
Look at pictures of a co-worker’s children
Watch baseball
Answer the door to a Jehovah’s Witness
Participate in Girl’s Night
Overdraft on my debit card
Listen to Pharrell’s “Happy” on repeat
Contract Tetanus
Die

P.S. Your voice sounds like your testicles have not yet descended from your uterus.