Dreamland

"I keep having this dream where I have tunnel vision.

And it's like all I can do is focus on this one thing, this one tunnel that leads me to absolutely nothing, only darkness. 

I see it all so perfectly. Me, spiraling out of control, just free falling. Slowly at first. Then picking up speed and falling deeper and deeper. And I keep falling, you know? I'm so terrified. I can feel that even as I'm sleeping.

And I keep going; I can't stop. I'm almost desensitized to all the fear, the terror of being completely out of control. Almost.

But I still have that lingering sensation of dread in the pit of my stomach. 

It's dark, and I can barely see. I just have this blurred vision as I'm descending. I can't tell where things begin and where they end. 

And the blood..."

He trailed off, finally looking up from his hands. He just stared at me, not speaking. I could tell he wasn't really looking at me though. Not really. He was in some far off place, lost in his dream.

"The blood...?" I urged gently.

He cleared his throat.

"The blood. There's so much of it. Only it's not mine. I don't know how I can tell, I just can. But there's no one with me. I'm alone. I don't know who's blood it is, staining my hands and smelling like rust.

I scream and cry over and over again for help. But I've fallen too far, too deep. No one can hear me, and I realize I've been forgotten.

When I finally stop screaming, it's quiet. It's silent except for the air whoosing in my ears as I keep

     falling

             and falling

                              and falling

It's actually kind of beautiful, the silence. I'm alone and unreachable. Untouchable. The tunnel, it eventually becomes my armor, my home. Protecting me from the outside. Shielding out all of the ugly.

Inside the tunnel becomes all I know, and I grow to depend on it, love it even. All of it. The infinite plunge, the dirt walls, the silence, the blood -- all of it. In the end they all become my comfort. And I feel safe. I feel like I'm somebody."

"And then?" I whisper.

"And then I wake up."